Newton's laws of infatuation:
love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can transfer from
one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.
first law:
a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, untill on unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy.
second law:
the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the
direction of this love is same to as increament or decreament of the
bank balance.
3rd law:
the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite
to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Girls beware
ALL GIRLS WILL HATE THIS
1) What is the difference between women and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
2) Why do women always have a stupid look on their faces?
Answer: Because they are...
3) What do women have in common with ceramic tiles?
Answer: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
4) If you drop a women and a brick out of a plane,which one would hit the ground first?
Answer: Who cares?????.....
5) What did God say after he created woman?
(This ones THE BEST)
Answer: I can do better than this! And then he created man
6) What's the difference between an intelligent woman & a UFO ?
Answer:I don't know, I've never seen either.
7) What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
Answers: i) no mind ii) no business
8) What makes women chase men when they have no intention of marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles when they have no intention of driving (The Best in the lot)
1) What is the difference between women and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
2) Why do women always have a stupid look on their faces?
Answer: Because they are...
3) What do women have in common with ceramic tiles?
Answer: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
4) If you drop a women and a brick out of a plane,which one would hit the ground first?
Answer: Who cares?????.....
5) What did God say after he created woman?
(This ones THE BEST)
Answer: I can do better than this! And then he created man
6) What's the difference between an intelligent woman & a UFO ?
Answer:I don't know, I've never seen either.
7) What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
Answers: i) no mind ii) no business
8) What makes women chase men when they have no intention of marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles when they have no intention of driving (The Best in the lot)
Cool Ones............
Want to propose a girl - Just do it. (Nike)
Before going to propose to a girl - Believe in the best. (BPL)
If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl - Vicks ki goli lo kichkich door karo. (Vicks)
If you are going to propose to a girl, chances are>-50-50. (Britannia)
If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her - Take it easy. (Limca)
Those who succeed in love always say - We dream because we do. (Daewoo)
If some one wants to write a love letter to his girlfriend -likho script apna apna. (Rotomac)
If you love someone - Go get it. (visa power)
Boy riding a bike with neighbor's girl - Neighbors envy owner's pride.(Onida)
Not satisfied with your dates - Yeh dil mangey more.(Pepsi)
A guy having a number of girl friends - Complete Man. (Raymonds)
A smart girl having a number of boyfriends - yeh hai hamara suraksachakra.(Colgate)
For those lost in love - Har shaam ka sathi main aur mera (Bagpiper).
Before going to propose to a girl - Believe in the best. (BPL)
If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl - Vicks ki goli lo kichkich door karo. (Vicks)
If you are going to propose to a girl, chances are>-50-50. (Britannia)
If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her - Take it easy. (Limca)
Those who succeed in love always say - We dream because we do. (Daewoo)
If some one wants to write a love letter to his girlfriend -likho script apna apna. (Rotomac)
If you love someone - Go get it. (visa power)
Boy riding a bike with neighbor's girl - Neighbors envy owner's pride.(Onida)
Not satisfied with your dates - Yeh dil mangey more.(Pepsi)
A guy having a number of girl friends - Complete Man. (Raymonds)
A smart girl having a number of boyfriends - yeh hai hamara suraksachakra.(Colgate)
For those lost in love - Har shaam ka sathi main aur mera (Bagpiper).
If God ..................... Tooo Good
Imagine if GODS also got hired in the software industry.
These are what their roles would be!
Brahma
Systems Installation
Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada
Data transfer
Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras (Perfect Role ) :-)
Downloadable Viruses
Devas
Mainframe Programmers
Surya
Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas
In house Hackers
Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF
Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process
Lakshman
Support Software and Backup
Hanuman
Linux/s390
Vaali
MS Windows
Sugreeva
DOS
Jatayu
These are what their roles would be!
Brahma
Systems Installation
Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada
Data transfer
Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras (Perfect Role ) :-)
Downloadable Viruses
Devas
Mainframe Programmers
Surya
Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas
In house Hackers
Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF
Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process
Lakshman
Support Software and Backup
Hanuman
Linux/s390
Vaali
MS Windows
Sugreeva
DOS
Jatayu
Humour
How crazy software engineers gradually become
A Non-Software guy thinks there are 1000 bytes in a kilobyte.
A Software-guy is convinced that there are 1024 meters in a
kilometer.
Non-Software guy : Hey.. I've just become a member of Rotract Club.
Software-guy : public, private, friendly or protected ?
Non-Software guy : Hey.. My submarine isn't sinking in water!!
What could be wrong?
Software-guy : may be you have used float instead of double in the software.
Non-Software guy : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer...
PM : how do you say that?
Non-Software guy : he asked my physical address instead of my home address!
Non-Software guy : Hey Bill, Can you do me a favor? Plz pass on
these 10,000 dollars to John..?
Software-guy : Ohh.. Sure.. Why not? Should i pass by value or by reference?
A Non-Software guy thinks there are 1000 bytes in a kilobyte.
A Software-guy is convinced that there are 1024 meters in a
kilometer.
Non-Software guy : Hey.. I've just become a member of Rotract Club.
Software-guy : public, private, friendly or protected ?
Non-Software guy : Hey.. My submarine isn't sinking in water!!
What could be wrong?
Software-guy : may be you have used float instead of double in the software.
Non-Software guy : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer...
PM : how do you say that?
Non-Software guy : he asked my physical address instead of my home address!
Non-Software guy : Hey Bill, Can you do me a favor? Plz pass on
these 10,000 dollars to John..?
Software-guy : Ohh.. Sure.. Why not? Should i pass by value or by reference?
Humour
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his book-keeper has screwed him for ten million bucks.
This book-keeper is deaf and it was considered an occupational benefit why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf book-keeper would not be able to hear anything and never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to shake down the book-keeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the book-keeper: "Where is the $10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks the book-keeper where the money is hidden.
The book-keeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you'retalking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the book-keeper's temple, cocks it up and says: "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"
The book-keeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"
The Godfather asks the lawyer: "Well, what'd he say?"
The lawyer replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!!"
This book-keeper is deaf and it was considered an occupational benefit why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf book-keeper would not be able to hear anything and never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to shake down the book-keeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the book-keeper: "Where is the $10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks the book-keeper where the money is hidden.
The book-keeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you'retalking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the book-keeper's temple, cocks it up and says: "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"
The book-keeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"
The Godfather asks the lawyer: "Well, what'd he say?"
The lawyer replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!!"
Google Tips and Tricks
Tip Number One:
The first thing you must do to generate a productive search is think. You need to think about what it is you really want. You really have to search Google for the words or phrases that will be on the page you want , not for a description of the page or website. So if you are looking for a comparative review of wireless telephones, you will probably get more results from a list of names such as SmartPhone, Audiovox, Motorola, and so on, than the words "comparative review of wireless phones".
Tip Number Two:
Use Quotation marks to force finding a specific phrase. When you surround your phrase with quotation marks, the search engine will only return results exactly matching the entire phrase. This is an extremely powerful search technique, and yet it is not used by the majority of web searchers. If you search on the two words George and Washington, you will get over 8 million results. If you put quotation marks around the entire name, your results will be restricted to about 3 million. And if your search is on "George Washington" "Cherry Tree", you will only get about 12,600 results. You get the picture. This is especially important if your search contains what are called "stop words" - words that Google is designed to ignore, such as "and" "of" and "the". By including these inside your quoted phrase, you will get more targeted search results.
Tip Number Three:
Use the Plus (+) and Minus (-) Signs. The plus sign just before a search term means "This MUST be found in the search". Conversely, if you find a lot of search results that include a specific product, word, phrase, or item that you do not want to see, you can put a minus sign before that word or phrase, and those results will be excluded from your search. You can even exclude domains or top-level domains from your search - see the site: command below.
Tip Number Four:
Use the Asterisk (*) As a WildCard search term. Yes, you can insert an asterisk in your search phrase and it will act as a wild card matching any word in that place in the phrase. Not only that, but you can insert more than one asterisk in place of more than one word in your search phrase, up to the limit of ten search words - and the wild card markers are not counted toward this ten word limit.
Tip Number Five:
Use the site: command. If you are interested in finding examples of the term XMLHttp, but only on eggheadcafe.com, then you can create a search like this: site:eggheadcafe.com XMLHTTP This will restrict your search to only pages belonging to that web site. You will notice that in regular Google searches, if there are more than two results from that site, the second result will be indented and there will be a link "More results from ..." - this automatically uses the site: qualifier. Also, you can search or exclude whole domains. For example, you can search for tampopo dvd site:co.uk or tampopo dvd -site:com (Tampopo is a wonderful Japanese noodle western spoof by director Juzo Itami that is sure to be enjoyed by Americans. If you really want to get educated IMHO, try to avoid watching films out of Hollywood, as they generally stink).
25/08/2006 09:47 Tip Number Six:
Use the operators. Besides the site: command, Google understands a range of operators that include filetype: (eg doc, xls, or pdf), intext: and allintext:, intitle: and allintitle:, inurl: and allinurl:, author: (in Google Groups) and location: (in Google News). Google also understands a logical OR, provided it is upper case. This means you can search for a bar in Orlando OR Miami for example. It is useful when targets of searches have alternative or variable spellings: outsourcing bombay OR mumbai. The OR command can be shortened to a vertical bar (|), as in outsourcing bombay | mumbai. Another way of adding alternatives is to use a tilde character (~). Thus if you search for ~food, Google also searches for cooking, cuisine, nutrition, recipes and restaurants. You have a lot of power and flexibility; you just have to make some notes and learn the language that the search engine understands so that you can speak to it. The search engine doesn't get mad or take offense - provided that you know its language, it will do exactly what you tell it to!
Tip Number Seven:
Use the Advanced Search Page. Fortunately, you don't need to memorize all of the above tricks, since they are conveniently offered to you in various combinations in the Advanced Search option which is always available from the main Google search page.
25/08/2006 09:48 Tip Number Eight:
Use Google Groups. Google has the most complete archive of usenet and other news posts going back over 20 years. By simply switching tabs from Web to Groups, your search term(s) will be repeated on the Groups archives. I cannot stress how valuable this can be- many, many times when I have not found a proper result on the web, by simply switching to Google Groups I've been able to find exactly what I was looking for.
Tip Number Nine:
Use new advanced search features. Google has a number of new features including Google Local, Google News (news items from newspapers and other publications around the globe), Froogle - which searches for the best prices on products, and the Dictionary - to get the spelling and / or definition of a word. In fact, if you may have misspelled a word in your search, Google's dictionary will remind you with a link that says "Did you really mean XXX?" and clicking that link will correct your search. Google also provides an Images search facility that brings back results filled with actual images on web pages that match your search terms. One of the lastest new offerings as of this writing in October, 2004, is a mobile SMS search that allows you to send an SMS message to google with your search terms for a restaurant and zipcode, somebody's name and address, or whatever, and get back the results to your cellphone in seconds. I've used it, and it works great. You can even get driving directions. Here's a table with a listing of links to some of the Google advanced search features:
25/08/2006 09:48 Tip Number Ten:
Use the Google API. Google has an API with a WSDL webservices proxy class generator for developers that allows you to incorporate the power of Google search into your own applications. It's free, and all you need to do is download the SDK and request a free license key. Now that I think of it, Amazon also has a very fine API that now includes the Alexa search engine which provides some very useful statistical information about URLs and web crawler searches from the Alexa engine, so Google "ain't the only game in town".
Have fun, and remember the ancient Chinese proverb about teaching a man to fish. Often, when we get posts with questions that can be easily answered with a simple Google search on Eggheadcafe.com , you will see answers from yours truly holding nothing more than the URL of the search itself. I wish more of them would "get the message" about learning how to fish! And, lest we forget - be nice to newbies. You were one once, too.
The first thing you must do to generate a productive search is think. You need to think about what it is you really want. You really have to search Google for the words or phrases that will be on the page you want , not for a description of the page or website. So if you are looking for a comparative review of wireless telephones, you will probably get more results from a list of names such as SmartPhone, Audiovox, Motorola, and so on, than the words "comparative review of wireless phones".
Tip Number Two:
Use Quotation marks to force finding a specific phrase. When you surround your phrase with quotation marks, the search engine will only return results exactly matching the entire phrase. This is an extremely powerful search technique, and yet it is not used by the majority of web searchers. If you search on the two words George and Washington, you will get over 8 million results. If you put quotation marks around the entire name, your results will be restricted to about 3 million. And if your search is on "George Washington" "Cherry Tree", you will only get about 12,600 results. You get the picture. This is especially important if your search contains what are called "stop words" - words that Google is designed to ignore, such as "and" "of" and "the". By including these inside your quoted phrase, you will get more targeted search results.
Tip Number Three:
Use the Plus (+) and Minus (-) Signs. The plus sign just before a search term means "This MUST be found in the search". Conversely, if you find a lot of search results that include a specific product, word, phrase, or item that you do not want to see, you can put a minus sign before that word or phrase, and those results will be excluded from your search. You can even exclude domains or top-level domains from your search - see the site: command below.
Tip Number Four:
Use the Asterisk (*) As a WildCard search term. Yes, you can insert an asterisk in your search phrase and it will act as a wild card matching any word in that place in the phrase. Not only that, but you can insert more than one asterisk in place of more than one word in your search phrase, up to the limit of ten search words - and the wild card markers are not counted toward this ten word limit.
Tip Number Five:
Use the site: command. If you are interested in finding examples of the term XMLHttp, but only on eggheadcafe.com, then you can create a search like this: site:eggheadcafe.com XMLHTTP This will restrict your search to only pages belonging to that web site. You will notice that in regular Google searches, if there are more than two results from that site, the second result will be indented and there will be a link "More results from ..." - this automatically uses the site: qualifier. Also, you can search or exclude whole domains. For example, you can search for tampopo dvd site:co.uk or tampopo dvd -site:com (Tampopo is a wonderful Japanese noodle western spoof by director Juzo Itami that is sure to be enjoyed by Americans. If you really want to get educated IMHO, try to avoid watching films out of Hollywood, as they generally stink).
25/08/2006 09:47 Tip Number Six:
Use the operators. Besides the site: command, Google understands a range of operators that include filetype: (eg doc, xls, or pdf), intext: and allintext:, intitle: and allintitle:, inurl: and allinurl:, author: (in Google Groups) and location: (in Google News). Google also understands a logical OR, provided it is upper case. This means you can search for a bar in Orlando OR Miami for example. It is useful when targets of searches have alternative or variable spellings: outsourcing bombay OR mumbai. The OR command can be shortened to a vertical bar (|), as in outsourcing bombay | mumbai. Another way of adding alternatives is to use a tilde character (~). Thus if you search for ~food, Google also searches for cooking, cuisine, nutrition, recipes and restaurants. You have a lot of power and flexibility; you just have to make some notes and learn the language that the search engine understands so that you can speak to it. The search engine doesn't get mad or take offense - provided that you know its language, it will do exactly what you tell it to!
Tip Number Seven:
Use the Advanced Search Page. Fortunately, you don't need to memorize all of the above tricks, since they are conveniently offered to you in various combinations in the Advanced Search option which is always available from the main Google search page.
25/08/2006 09:48 Tip Number Eight:
Use Google Groups. Google has the most complete archive of usenet and other news posts going back over 20 years. By simply switching tabs from Web to Groups, your search term(s) will be repeated on the Groups archives. I cannot stress how valuable this can be- many, many times when I have not found a proper result on the web, by simply switching to Google Groups I've been able to find exactly what I was looking for.
Tip Number Nine:
Use new advanced search features. Google has a number of new features including Google Local, Google News (news items from newspapers and other publications around the globe), Froogle - which searches for the best prices on products, and the Dictionary - to get the spelling and / or definition of a word. In fact, if you may have misspelled a word in your search, Google's dictionary will remind you with a link that says "Did you really mean XXX?" and clicking that link will correct your search. Google also provides an Images search facility that brings back results filled with actual images on web pages that match your search terms. One of the lastest new offerings as of this writing in October, 2004, is a mobile SMS search that allows you to send an SMS message to google with your search terms for a restaurant and zipcode, somebody's name and address, or whatever, and get back the results to your cellphone in seconds. I've used it, and it works great. You can even get driving directions. Here's a table with a listing of links to some of the Google advanced search features:
25/08/2006 09:48 Tip Number Ten:
Use the Google API. Google has an API with a WSDL webservices proxy class generator for developers that allows you to incorporate the power of Google search into your own applications. It's free, and all you need to do is download the SDK and request a free license key. Now that I think of it, Amazon also has a very fine API that now includes the Alexa search engine which provides some very useful statistical information about URLs and web crawler searches from the Alexa engine, so Google "ain't the only game in town".
Have fun, and remember the ancient Chinese proverb about teaching a man to fish. Often, when we get posts with questions that can be easily answered with a simple Google search on Eggheadcafe.com , you will see answers from yours truly holding nothing more than the URL of the search itself. I wish more of them would "get the message" about learning how to fish! And, lest we forget - be nice to newbies. You were one once, too.
one two liners too good!!!!!!!!!1
1980 girls: Maa mei Jeans pehanungi
Maa : Nahin beti log kya kahengey ?
2006 girls: Maa mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maa: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!
Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye,
ek ne desh ke liye,
doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony
mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.
Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
FOOL se, FOOL ne,
FOOLon ki FOOLwari me
FOOL ke sath wish kiya '
You are the most beautiFOOL,
colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
*>* What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without
marriage.
What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Hua', 'So-Hua'
What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow!
New Underwear.
Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
Maa : Nahin beti log kya kahengey ?
2006 girls: Maa mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maa: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!
Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono ne kapde tyag diye,
ek ne desh ke liye,
doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony
mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.
Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
FOOL se, FOOL ne,
FOOLon ki FOOLwari me
FOOL ke sath wish kiya '
You are the most beautiFOOL,
colorFOOL & wonderFOOL amongst all FOOLS
What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!
*>* What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without
marriage.
What did they named them?
They named them as 'Jo-Hua', 'So-Hua'
What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah?
Wow!
New Underwear.
Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
"shudh" hindi translation for a few common english words...
"shudh" hindi translation for a few common english words....
CRICKET : Gol guttam lakad battam de danadan pratiyogita
CRICKET TEST MATCH : Pakad dandu, maar mandu, de danaadan pratiyogita
TABLE TENNIS : Lakdi ke phalak shetra pe le takaatak de takaatak
LAWN TENNIS : Harit Ghaas par le tada tad, de tada tad
LIGHT BULB : Vidyut Prakashak Kanch golak
TIE : Kanth Langoti....(best one)
MATCH BOX : Ragdampatti Agni Utpaadan Peti
TRAFFIC SIGNAL : Aavat Jaavat Suchak Jhandaa
TEA : Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti
TRAIN : Sahasra Chakra Louh Path Gaamini
ALL ROUTE PASS : Yatr Tatr Sarvatr Gaman Aagya Patr
RAILWAY SIGNAL : Louh path gaamini aawagaman suchak yantra
RAILWAY STATION : Bhabhka Adda
BUTTON : Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak
MOSQUITO : Gunjanhaari Manav Rakt Pipasu Jeev
CRICKET : Gol guttam lakad battam de danadan pratiyogita
CRICKET TEST MATCH : Pakad dandu, maar mandu, de danaadan pratiyogita
TABLE TENNIS : Lakdi ke phalak shetra pe le takaatak de takaatak
LAWN TENNIS : Harit Ghaas par le tada tad, de tada tad
LIGHT BULB : Vidyut Prakashak Kanch golak
TIE : Kanth Langoti....(best one)
MATCH BOX : Ragdampatti Agni Utpaadan Peti
TRAFFIC SIGNAL : Aavat Jaavat Suchak Jhandaa
TEA : Dugdh Jal Mishrit Sharkara Yukt Parvatiya(pahaadi) Booti
TRAIN : Sahasra Chakra Louh Path Gaamini
ALL ROUTE PASS : Yatr Tatr Sarvatr Gaman Aagya Patr
RAILWAY SIGNAL : Louh path gaamini aawagaman suchak yantra
RAILWAY STATION : Bhabhka Adda
BUTTON : Ast Vyast Vastra Niyantrak
MOSQUITO : Gunjanhaari Manav Rakt Pipasu Jeev
Humour
In case you haven't read this before!!!
A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a
Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come
take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage ....."
Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic
was working on the motorcycle.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So
Doc, look at this engine..... I open its heart, take the valves out, repair
any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just
like new. "
...."So how come I make $39,675 a year (a pretty small salary) and you
get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) .....when you and I are doing
basically the same work ?"
The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered
to the mechanic...''Try doing it with the engine running."
A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a
Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come
take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage ....."
Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic
was working on the motorcycle.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So
Doc, look at this engine..... I open its heart, take the valves out, repair
any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just
like new. "
...."So how come I make $39,675 a year (a pretty small salary) and you
get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) .....when you and I are doing
basically the same work ?"
The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered
to the mechanic...''Try doing it with the engine running."
PJS
if u wanna check ur general knowledge and ur IQ level then give the answers of some simple questions. if u like these questions then write your comments in my scrapbook and tell me how many questions u answered right. The questions are: -
Q1. RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )
Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI !
Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)
Q3. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? :-)
Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener
Q4. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which
movie did he really want to see?
Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai!
Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving India??
Socho...............
Ans:- HindustanLever (Leaver).
Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?
Ans:- adidas
Q8. Luv and Kushare going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls
into the well. Why ?
Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!
Now Kushalso jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching done.
Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
Want one more...
Q9. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. nahi pata..??
Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans - D'cold
Q10. chalo ab batao... Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ? this is quite
simple..
Ans:- D'Cold again kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi
Q11. Jugal Hansraj and Mayuri Kango bus stop par khade the. Bus aayi -
Mayuri gayi, magar Jugal nahin gaya- kyon?
Ans:- Because Mayuri 'can - go'.
Ek aur..
Q12. Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol chali gayi, par
Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon?? think harder...
Ans:-Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha... Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe
Q13.! kamal ,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the.. bus aai vimal
chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata hai why???
Ans :- Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!
aur chhaiye...theek hai
Q15. Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus stop pe khade the... bus aai aur
Kadar Khan chad jata hai per Shakti Kapoor nahin jata Qyo???
Ans :- Qyonkieeeeeee woh Shakti Kapoor dusri bus ke wait kar raha tha
aakhri sawaal ....
Q16. Amitabh aur Pran dono bus estop pe khade the...bus aai aur Pran chad
jata hai per Amitabh nahin jata Qyo???
Ans :- pran jaye per bacchan na jaye
Chalo last one ha !
Q17.Kapil Dev goes to Echo point and shouts loudly "Pamolive" But there dont
come any echo sound why ?
Ans:- Because Palmolive ka jawab nahi !!
Q1. RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )
Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI !
Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)
Q3. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? :-)
Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener
Q4. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which
movie did he really want to see?
Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai!
Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving India??
Socho...............
Ans:- HindustanLever (Leaver).
Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?
Ans:- adidas
Q8. Luv and Kushare going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls
into the well. Why ?
Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!
Now Kushalso jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching done.
Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!
Want one more...
Q9. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. nahi pata..??
Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans - D'cold
Q10. chalo ab batao... Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ? this is quite
simple..
Ans:- D'Cold again kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi
Q11. Jugal Hansraj and Mayuri Kango bus stop par khade the. Bus aayi -
Mayuri gayi, magar Jugal nahin gaya- kyon?
Ans:- Because Mayuri 'can - go'.
Ek aur..
Q12. Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol chali gayi, par
Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon?? think harder...
Ans:-Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha... Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe
Q13.! kamal ,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the.. bus aai vimal
chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata hai why???
Ans :- Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!
aur chhaiye...theek hai
Q15. Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus stop pe khade the... bus aai aur
Kadar Khan chad jata hai per Shakti Kapoor nahin jata Qyo???
Ans :- Qyonkieeeeeee woh Shakti Kapoor dusri bus ke wait kar raha tha
aakhri sawaal ....
Q16. Amitabh aur Pran dono bus estop pe khade the...bus aai aur Pran chad
jata hai per Amitabh nahin jata Qyo???
Ans :- pran jaye per bacchan na jaye
Chalo last one ha !
Q17.Kapil Dev goes to Echo point and shouts loudly "Pamolive" But there dont
come any echo sound why ?
Ans:- Because Palmolive ka jawab nahi !!
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