LIFE BOOK- AGENDA 2012

1. Make time for prayer.
2. Never skip you breakfast
3. Eat nutritious food avoid oily food
4. Live with the 3 Es -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Drink plenty of water
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did last year.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10.Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day
11.Don't compare your life to others.' You have no idea what their
journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead
invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do; keep your limits
14. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. ;Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her
mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present or future
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems
are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like
algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and Laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree todisagree.
25. Call your family often.
26. Do a random act of kindness without expecting anything in return.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 under the age of 6.
29.Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and
friends will. Stay in touch.
32. Do the right things.
33.Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. Nothing stays
for ever. Everything is subject to change. Change unavoidable.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up !
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy.
40. So live life KING SIZE & STAY HEALTHY AND HAPPY !

How strange it is....!!!

How strange it is....!!!

We wish to earn loads of money

But

We have the best of times only when we have just 10 bucks in pocket....

We wish to wear high brands

But

We feel most comfortable in pajama pants..............

We wish to sit in Taj & Marriot with elite people

But

We enjoy roadside wadapaav with friends the most....

We wish to own big M. Benz & go on long drives

But

Yet we talk to our heart only when we are walking......

We have 64GB iPods filled with songs

But

Sometimes a song on the radio brings a smile that can't be compared....

Life is simple indeed, we make it Complicated!!!

Sign - Boards

# Sign on a railway station at Patna :  

Aana free, jaana free,  
pakde gaye to khana free.    
 
 
# Seen on a famous beauty parlor in Bombay :  
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.  
She may be your grandmother!  
 
 # Seen on a bulletin board:  
Success is relative ... More the success, more the relatives.  
 
  # Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay :  
we need your heads to run our business.  
 
  # A traffic slogan:  
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough - or else they never will be ...  
 
 #THE BEST ONE :  

It's God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations,  
It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and god.' 

- Indian Armed Forces -

Must Read .... Read at leasure time only

One Of The Best Arguments.!! I have ever read

Don’t miss even a single word…. It’s Too good

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and…..

Prof: So you believe in God?

Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?

Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?

Student: Yes..

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn’t. How is this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)

Prof: You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?

Student: No.

Prof: Where does Satan come from?

Student: From….God…

Prof: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything. Correct?

Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)

Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student: Yes, sir.

Prof: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son…Have you ever seen God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student: No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn’t exist.
What do you say to that, son?

Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn’t.
(The lecture the after becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat..
But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it .
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright
light, flashing light…..But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can’t even explain a thought.. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is
not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir… The link between man & god is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

I believe you have enjoyed the conversation…and if so…you’ll probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same…won’t you?….this is a true story, and the

student was none other than …….
APJ Abdul Kalam, the former President of India

SCHOOL, College and COMPANY...

School: 
Two books for one subject. 

College: 
One book for all subjects. 

Company: 
Books? What are they? Only follow standards. 


School: 
A White pipe in teacher's hand - CHALK 

College: 
A White pipe in student's hand  PEN

Company: 
A White pipe in employee's hand  100% CIGARETTE 


School: 
Most Frequent letter- LEAVE LETTER 

College: 
Most Frequent letter- LOVE LETTER 

Company: 
Most Frequent letter- RESIGNATION LETTER 


School: 
If we go it's boring. 

College: 
If we don't go it's boring. 

Company: 
Go/don't go, it's boring

WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……

WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……
FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK : ( and you would find out the same .. !!!! )
1 ) Tech Support : “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer : “Ok.”
Tech Support : “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer : “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
—————————————-

2) Customer : “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”
Tech Support : “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

————————————————–

3) Customer : “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support : “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer : “I typed ‘A: SETUP’.”
Tech Support : “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer : “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support : “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer : “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”

————————————————–

4) Customer : “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

————————————————–

5) Tech Support : “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer : “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
Tech support : ##### ***

————————————————–

6) Tech Support : “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer : “A white one.”
Tech support : ******_____####

————————————————–

7) Tech Support : “What operating system are you running?”
Customer : “Pentium.”

Tech support : ////—–+++
————————————————–

8) Customer : “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”
Tech support : ??????

————————————————–

9) Customer : “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
Tech Support : ?!%#$
————————————————–

10) Customer : “How do I print my voicemail?”
Tech support : ??????

————————————————–

11) Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support : “What does it say?”

Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”

Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”

Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

Tech support : @@@@@
————————————————–

12) Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”

————————————————–

13) Tech Support : “What does the screen say now?”

Customer : “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”

Tech Support : “Well?”

Customer : “How do I know when it’s ready?”

Tech support : *** —- ++++
————————————————–

The best of the lot

14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What’s the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the
command.

Tech support::

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The, tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support::(hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User : It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User : I need a new power supply.

Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support : (hush hush)

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.

————————————————-
Height Of it all (Too Good)

15) Customer : I need a product identification number right now

Customer Care Officer : and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust : sure !!!!

CCO : could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your, computer?