Quotes for Performance !!

"Everything depends upon execution; having just a vision is no solution." – Stephen Sondheim

“If anything is worth trying at all, it’s worth trying at least 10 times.” Art Linkletter

Life responds to deserve and not to need. It doesn't say,"If you need,you will reap." It says,"If you plant you will reap."The guys says,"I really need to reap."Then you really need to plant. -Jim Rohn

 

"I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act, but I believe in a fate that falls on men unless they act." –– G.K. Chesterton
"Slumps are like a soft bed.They're easy to get into and hard to get out of." Johnny Bench
"I like to be against the odds. I'm not afraid to be lonely at the top. With me, it's just the satisfaction of the game. Just performance."Barry Bonds

The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch. 
Jim Rohn

 "Great works are done when one is not calculating and thinking."Daisetz T. Suzuki

"There's no such things as coulda, shoulda, or woulda. If you shoulda and coulda, you woulda done it." Pat Riley
"Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something. Don't just stand there, make something happen." Lee Iacocca

Make rest a neccesity,not an objective.Only rest long enough to gather strenght. Jim Rohn

 "My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging." Hank Aaron

"The important thing is to dare to dream big, then take action to make it come true." Joe Girard

"Step up the stairs or stare at the steps." Ralph Nichols

"I read myself out of poverty, long before I worked myself out of poverty." Walter Anderson

The soil says,"Dont bring me your need.Bring me your seed." 
Jim Rohn 

 

"Past performance produces present privileges." Anonymous

"Performance for another in no way signals the inferiority of the performer to the one for whom the performance is intended."Sandra Bartky

"Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour’s duties will be the best preparation for the hours or ages that follow it." Ralph Waldo Emerson

"When the right thing is understood, but one slackens his performance; then his attention will become commanded by the cares of the world, the deceitfulness of riches and the lust of other things. When these things come to dominate one's interest, his performance of the more important spiritual insights will fail. Belief without performance will never produce desired results. It is like planting seeds in your garden, watering the garden until they sprout, then failing to continue to water and weed thereafter. Likewise, a person caught by procrastination in the stony and thorny ground of mere belief, will never reap the fruits of his ideals." Loyd J. Ericson 

"An acre of performance is worth a whole world of promise."William Dean Howells

"It is our individual performances, no matter how humble our place in life may be, that will in the long run determine how well ordered the world may become." Paul C. Packer

You must learn to translate wisdom and strong feelings into labor.Jim Rohn

 "Be fanatics. When it comes to being and doing and dreaming the best, be maniacs." A.M. Rosenthal

"The man who does not take pride in his own performance performs nothing in which to take pride." Thomas J. Watson

"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand."Woodrow Wilson

"I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism." Charles Schwab

You must get good at one of two things;planting in the spring or begging in the fall. Jim Rohn

 

"You don't concentrate on risks. You concentrate on results. No risk is too great to prevent the necessary job from getting done."Charles Yeager
"What we think or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only thing of consequence is what we do." John Ruskin

Chanakya's Quotes....

Chanakya's Quotes - Worth reading a million times…

  
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"A person should not be too honest. 
Straight trees are cut first 
and Honest people are victimised first." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC 75 BC)   
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"Even if a snake is not poisonous, 
it should pretend to be venomous." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)   
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"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. ! It will destroy you." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)   
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"There is some self-interest behind every friendship.
There is no Friendship without self-interests.
This is a bitter truth." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)   
***************************************************   
"Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply
and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)   
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"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)   
***************************************************   
"Once you start a working on something, 
don't be afraid of failure and
don't abandon it. 
People who work sincerely are the happiest." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)   
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"The fragrance of flowers spreads 
only in the direction of the wind.
But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)   
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"A man is great by deeds, not by birth." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)   
***************************************************   
"Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. 
For the next five years, scold them.
By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. 
Your grown up children are your best friends." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)   
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"Books are as useful to a stupid person 
as a mirror is useful to a blind person." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)   
***************************************************   
"Education is the best friend. 
An educated person is respected everywhere.
Education beats the beauty and the youth." 
Chanakya quotes  (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

some jokes..

Wife: Why are you home so early?
 Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.
 ---------------------------------------
 "Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles
 and sorrows.";
 "But I don't have any, my love."
 "I said, when we get married" 
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 American: In our country, marriage even takes place with email.
 Santa: In India, it is only with female 
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 When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God
 doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --
 On the first day of marriage, the husband is treated like god... after
 that the letters reversed ( dog )
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The 3 fastest means of communication:
  Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --
 A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "I've found
 a woman just like mother!"
 His father replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?";

 

===========================================================

 

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Q - What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.

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How can SantaSingh Kill a Lion?
SantaSingh thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. JJJ

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A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married;
Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

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Wife: Honey...... What are you looking for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour...??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

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SantaSingh: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..?
biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Accident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

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SantaSingh : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying....
When a Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

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Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

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Man before Marriage I like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where eveR U Go Our Network Follows."

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SantaSingh : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.
SantaSingh : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!

Message.. (No offences plz)

A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.  She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.  She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.  As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face  with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied. 
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. 
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her
fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. 
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say. 
"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room!"

Gifts that Don't Cost a Cent

1. THE GIFT OF LISTENING: But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.

2. THE GIFT OF AFFECTION: Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

3. THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you".

4. THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE: It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.

5. THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT; A simple and sincere, "You look great in red", "You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

6. THE GIFT OF A FAVOR: Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

7. THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE: There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

8.THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION: The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.

Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!!!

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.
The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few   bananas.
Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food   bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, 'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?'
The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but .. did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!
Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!!!  

Don't do this after your meal

7 dont's after a meal

*     Don't smoke- Experiment from experts proves that smoking a
cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of
  cancer is higher).

 *    Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after
meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit
1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before meal.

 *   Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of
acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we
consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.

  *     Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will
easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked.

 *    Don't bathe - Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to
the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will
therefore decrease.  This will weaken the digestive system in our
stomach.

 *    Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a
hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not
true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb
the nutrition from the food we intake.

 *    Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to
digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our
intestine.

crazy woman....oops....bechara man

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site. After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.

Women!!
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure.


People from the neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was.

The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.

Junior said "The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present. Please Try Again Later"... 

Clever stuff

This has got to be one of the cleverest Emails I've received in a while. Someone out there either has too much Spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one!)

 

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

 

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

 

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

 

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

 

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

 

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
When you rearrange the letters
(With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands!

Seven Wonders of world.

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven Wonders of the World." 

Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes: 

1. Egypt's Great Pyramids 
2. Taj Mahal 
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal 
5. Empire State Building 
6. St. Peter's Basilica 

7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not 
finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having 
trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my 

mind because there were so many."

The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can 
help."

The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the 'Seven Wonders of the 
World' are:

1. to see 



2. to hear 



3. to touch 




4. to taste 




5. to feel 




6. to laugh 




7. and to love."





The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. 

The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous! A gentle reminder -- that the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.

Love & Madness

Long time ago, before the world was created and humans
set foot on it, God had put all the human "qualities"
in a separate room.

Since all the qualities were bored they decided to
play hide & seek.

"Madness" was one of the qualities and he shouted:
"I want to count, I want to count!"

And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek
"Madness", all the other qualities agreed.
So "Madness" leaned against a tree and started
to count: "One, two,three..."

As "Madness" counted, the qualities went hiding.

"Treason" hid in a pile of garbage..

"Lie" said that it would hide under a stone, but hid
at the bottom of the lake.

And Madness continued to count "... seventy nine,
eighty, eighty one..."

By this time, all the qualities were already hidden
except "Love ".

For stupid as "Love" is, he could not decide where
to hide. And this should not surprise us, because
we all know how difficult it is to hide "Love".

"Madness": "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety
seven..." Just when "Madness" got to one
hundred.........

"Love" jumped into a rose bush where he hid.

And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming,
I'm coming!"

As Madness turned around, "Laziness" was the first
to be found, because "Laziness" was too lazy to hide.
"Madness" searched madly and found "Lie" at the bottom
of the lake.

One by one, Madness found them all except Love.
Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love.

Envious of Love, "Envy" whispered to "Madness" "You
only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose
bush."

"Madness" Jumped on the rose bush and he heard loud
cry. The thorns in the bush had pierced "Loves" eyes.

Hearing the commotion God came into the room and saw
what had happened. He got very angry and cursed
"Madness" and said since "Love" has become blind
because of u ...u shall always be with him"

And so it came about that from that day on,

"Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness!!!"

 

You know you are from Mumbai (Bombay) when......

I liked most of it... But really loved 4, 12, 22, 28,36, 60,116, 81, 87, 121,123

You know you are from Mumbai (Bombay) when

1. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that*this means south of Churchgate.

2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Bombayites can understand.

3. Your door has more than three locks.

4. When every rickshaw looks like a personal disco, with neon lights, loud music and pictures of film stars.

5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.

6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.

7. When you use the phrases, 'Chillum-Chili' and 'Chili-Mili' and are not talking about a spicy dish 

8. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."

9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay.

10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar � Road, Altamount Road.

11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.

12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.

13. You take fashion seriously. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.

15. You compare Bombay to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.

16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.

18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.

21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.

22. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.

23. You always argue with Delhites than Mumbai is way better than Delhi

24. You still refer to the city as Bombay not Mumbai. (credit Opher Moses 24,25,26)

25. When you love bragging about the filmstars and cricketers you've seen

26. When most of your freinds have underworld connections

27. Every three months you look at your street and say "Why're the digging the road again?"(Credit Nandan Babla 27-32)

28. "Change" is "Chillar", "Ditching" is a "Kalti" and "Trouble" is "Jhol".

29. "Gheun Tak" is your life ideology.

30. You have been shoo'd away from Marine Drive at 3am by the cops because of an "Unlawful gathering of persons"

31. You actually pay for your rickshaws by the meter.

32. You actually think 30Rs for a Sada Dosa is pretty reasonable.

33. when you spent 6 hours of your day in school and another 3 hours in tuitions. 

34. if you ever went to fashion street, got a pair of cheap jeans and had them tagged as a name brand.

35. if you played cricket matches against another building for 5 rupee bets.

36. if you lost tons of MRF rubber balls.

37. when u call cops ;kaka' and they let u go if u show of ur marathi speaking skills 

38. amitabh bachans house is a landmark

39. You have been to matheran or mahabaleshwar during the summer vacations

40. You see men (not gay apparently) holding hands and walking in the street. 

41. The note to coin changing machine at Churchgate station is idolized.

42. During cricket season all the roads are blocked because people in the streets are looking at television screens in display windows.

43. Automatic vending machines have a sales person sitting next to it just to help you.

44. There are more movie tickets being sold in black than at the ticket office.

45. It takes longer to get off from your house to the station than from one end of Mumbai to another by train.

46. Every cab and rickshaw driver makes small talk with you

47. You see Herd of people walking at four in the morning to Siddhi Vinayak temple.

48. 'Bun Maska' and 'vada pav' is the staple diet of most collegians.

49. HORN OK PLEASE is written on every truck, tempo and heavy motor vehicle.

50. You cant drive for more than 10 mins without abusing someone 

51. "townies" think they need a visa to go past worli to the suburbs

52. When u use the word "yaar" in almost every sentence u speak. 

53. You call onion as "kandha" and potato as "batata".

54. You think of a spicy tangy snack whenever you hear the work chat 

55.You are back to work next day after the city is bombed - Truly the spirit of Bombay

56. you call the cabbies n waiters BOSS 

57. abuses like chu**** . madar****. Bhen***... are the words whic u have to use in each sentence yyou speak

58. you prefer wada pav by jumbo king anyday on comparision wid Mc donalds burger

59. Each monday you go for either bowling or pool.

60. u enter mocha/ barista/ ccd lookin all posh but sit with one drink for 5 hrs till they politely ask u if u "need anythin else"

61. yr pricipal form of entertainment are all the aunties who scream obsceities at each other at the drop of a hat and threaten to pull the others hair/ push out of the train at 11 in the nyt!

62. yr idea of a full body massage is wat u get while trying to get off/ board a train at dadar!!!

63. At 3am in morning you can still get wadapav or butter pav bhaji(Aditya bengali)

64. When there's no place to breathe in the trains but there's place to play cards and sing bhajans!

65. when the traffic almost makes good frnds wid the person in the car next to you.(Aneesh angadi)

66. You know what the term "video coach" stands for in the local trains... (aditya bengali)

67. You snigger every time somebody says "Im going to Grant road!" 

68. u call the policemen "MAMU" OR "PANDU" (ronak panani)

69. random strangers butt in wen u r discussing cricket o politics or even chicks 2 give their personal (unwanted) opinion (Harsh)

70. You say that Pani Puri is waayy better than Gol Gappa's even when they're the same thing(70-75 Dhavan Vora )

71. There is always one 'pan-wala' on the corner of street

72. You keep spare candles in the kitchen just in case there's a power surge.

73. To you, your watchman doesn't have a name - you just call him 'watchman'.

74. You aren't surprised when somebody throws a water balloon at you while you're walking on the streets during March.

75. You know of certain theaters where you can go for A-rated movies with your friends, even when you're under 18.

76. whn u r standing at a bus stop near juhu beach and sum random guy comes up to u and says " boss" short term, long term chahiye kya (saatvik)

77. (amrryn)

78. seeing "Mein Kampf" being sold openly on the streets in abundance seems like a perfectly normal thing to you.(Patrick Weyers)

79. you have to pay international roaming fees when you use your cell phone outside of Mumbai.

80. you can only smile forgivingly about the size of any other city in the world.

81. you consider the local train "empty" when you find a spot for your two feet to stand on.

82. when someone asks u "east" or "west" side of a particular station?

83. when there is a saffron rally every 3 months , n u just wonder , whats it all about , u jus went to vote , 3 months ago , n they r holding elections all again?

84. when "chalta hai" is the most commonly used word

85. when u see hijraas/eunuchs at street asking for u to lend them some money , with a very very catchy one liner : eeeee deeeeeeeee naaaaaa usually on fridays.sometimes men even get grooped when they dont pay 'em

86. when u can find hukkas for use at a coffee shop the equivalent of starbucks (Vishal prabhu)

87. when u never cross the road at a zebra crossing

88. when u can always find a car that has a dent or scratch on it

89. When u find cars on the Road even at 4 in the morning(Trish bose)

90. You never learnt how to stand in a queue

91. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

92. Every time you speak Hndi in front of a Delhitite they have the WTF expression on their face.

93. You have hung on to dear life at the local door. 

94. You still refer to a car / vehicle full of girls as "Maal Gaadi" - left over from the "Ladies Special" days... 

95. You take the "Weight and Your Future for Rs.1 only" machines at the stations seriously. ... At least the Future bit, it always exaggerates about the weight.

96. When while giving directions you say "Right/ Left MARO aur wahan pe ek bridge GIREGA"

97. when you actually see random people coming to help you when u have a problem

98. .when u can take a piss at the local shouchalaya for 50paise and a dump for 1 re

99. When you think everyone who lives to the south of you is a snob and to the north of you sucks

100. you behave like a foreigner in any other part of the country (hurray !!! 100)

101. u see couples cosying up in rickshaws in almost every small lane

102. u want to get into the train already that is already in motion & u have 5 hands taking u in..

103. When you instinctively say "pudhey challa" instead of saying agey badho or move ahead.

104. You meet Delhiites in a foreign country and feel no sense of kinship with them!

105. Chal, paka mat!" is an overused part of your vocabulary

106. here "maall" is a gurl n na goods

107. Crorepati, Lakhpati, Hazarpati, Chillarpati all travel in local Trains daily.

108. You log on to social networking sites and search for Bombay-related groups!!!(manas)

109. u treat mumbai as a country itself (Danny)

110. You drink 2 sips of tea called 'cutting' more than thrice a day (Bhakti)

111. You call a corner 'khopcha' and a cigarette 'sutta'

112. u think tht delhi copied INDIA GATE frm mumbai's GATEWAY OF INDIA...(Akshay)

113. masseuses on juhu beach come out only after midnight n cops get free massages frm them

114. when you see the dabbawallas on the station and fishwali kolis in train (amrita)

115. when u c movie names like "shootout at Lokhandwala" & 'Ek chalis ki last local" & don't have to ask wot the name means(gauri)

116. when you call the BEST bus, BST, even though BEST is painted on every single public transport bus operational in Bombay (prajay)

117. when we compare our mumbai-pune expressway to the autobahn and our cab drivers to the indian schumacher.

118. you know 'bhai' means a guy who has no brotherly feelings. (partho)

119. you know that 'khamba' does not only mean pillar

120. when you call a watermelon "Kalingar" instead of "Terbus"

121. Making a loud kissing noise is how you tease girls in Delhi, but making that same noise is how you hail an autorickshaw in Bombay (Shivani T)

122. The rest of India calls it namkeen----you know it as farsan (Shivani T)

123. You don't differentiate between U.P. and Bihar. All you know is that's where the 'bhaiyas' come from (Shivani T)

124. if someone calls u "aap"-- u start laughing on their faces...(gunjan)

125. You get felt up every time you get into the general compartment instead of the ladies'.

126. You get photographed at three parties and you're suddenly a page 3 regular!

127. When your lunch is delivered hot in a tiffin at exactly 1pm from home every working day.

128. when u have an account with tha paan wala for cigarettes on credit your outside home & work

129. when u r stuck in traffic even at 1:30 a.m

130. You see two office-goers play a game of cards in your evening local train. 

131. When you look out for pandu's lurking behind the odd tree or signal post before you take your illegal left/right/U turn.

132. you go to a Goa beach and your kids dig pot holes in the sand instead of buiding castles! :-)

133. When The only landmark the president of US wants see is Dharavi (Ahad)

134. When you have no objection in ghoosofying in a line (admissions or train tickets) but shout loudly "Maaaaro!" when you see someone else do it (Sanket)

135.When ... you have argued with the TC that traveling first class after pass expires is legitimate since you havent processed the railway concession yet!

136. jab facebook par bhi bambaiya hindi chalti hain yaar

137. When even at 8 in the morning you can see couples sitting and cozying up at Marine Drive and Worli Seaface

138. when gals roam abt at 12am in the night and not get raped ...unlike delhi! (keyuri nagardas)
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