Geeta Saar ( Strictly For Employees Only)

It is increment time this may help you

 

GEETA SAAAR.....

 Post Appraisal . . . . . . .

 This is what Bhagwan Shri Krishna wants to tell you .

 Hey Parth (Employee),

Incentive nahi mila, Bura Huya
salary cut rahi hai, Bura Huya
Extra shift hogi, woh bhi bure hogi.

Tum pitchla incentive na milne ka paschatap na karo,
Tum agle incentive ki chinta na karo,
Bus apni salary main santusta raho....

Tumhari pocket se kya gaya, jo ro te ho?
Jo aaya tha sab uper ki income thee.
Tum jab nahi the, tab bhi company chal rahi thee
Tum jab nahi hoge, tab bhi chalegee.

Tum ne aisa kaun sa response diya, jo tumhara tha..
Sab kuch, cut copy paste ka khel tha.

 Tum koi experience leker nahi aaye the..
Jo experience mila yahi mila...
Jo support diya company ke liye...
Degree leker aaye the, experience leker chalo.

Jo system aaj tumhara hai...
Woh kal kisi aur ka tha....
Kal kisi aur ka or parson kisi aur ka hoga..
Tum ise apna samajh kar kyo magan ho rahe ho..
Yahi kushi tumhari tension kaa kaaran hai.

 "Kyo wayarth chinta karte ho, kisse wayarth darte ho,
Kaun tumhe nikaal sakta hai......"

Policy change company ka rule hai.
Jise tum policy change kahte ho, wahi to trick hai.

"Ek pal main tum Best performer or Hero no.1 ya Super
Star ban jaate ho,

 Dusre pal main tum worst performer or target nahin
achieve kar paatey ho."

Appraisal, incentive etc. etc. mann se hata do,
vichaar se mita do, Phir company tumhari hai or tum
company ke.
na yeh increment wageyrah tumhare liye hai
na tum iske kabhi ho, Parantu job secure hai
Phir tum tension kyon lete ho........?

Tum apne aap ko company ko arpit kar do,
Yahi sabse bada golden rule hai,
Jo is golden rule ko jaanta hai,
woh review, incentive,recession,retirement aadi se sada
ke liye muqt ho jaata hai.... 

 

HURRY (H)OM(e)..

Just for laughs

One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute.

He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying "If you catch me, I'm yours."

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed.

Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg.

He's back on the street and starts to think.  "Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."

So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg."

"No problem," says the manager.

Again he is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door when it opens. Out comes a Gorilla with a sign.   "If I catch you, you're mine."

Some amazing facts

Some amazing facts....
Nature is Amazing


[1]   Some Facts:
1)  BOOK WITHOUT LETTER 'e':             GADFY , written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain a single word with ' e ' in it
2)  WORD WITHOUT VOWEL:                 RHYTHM
3)  BRAIN:                                              Organ of body which has no sensation when cut .
4)  CROCODILE:                                     Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating .
5)  No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:
They are
       B       Bee
       C       Sea
       G       Zee
        I       Eye
        Q       Queue
        R       Are
        S       Yes
        T       Tea
        U       You
        Y       Why
[2] Birds, Animals and Trees amaze you!

1)     SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2)     A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3)     DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4)     A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tonnes of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5)     The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6)     The fierce DINOSAUR was TRYNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharp teeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7)     DIMETRODON was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8)     CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9)     The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10)    OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11)    POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12)    KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13)    ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14)    OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.
[3] Quiz

1)      If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say 'DADDY'? - LIPS
2)      What goes up & never comes down? - AGE
3)      Patches over patches but no stitches? -  CABBAGE
4)      What is that we cannot see, but is always before you? - FUTURE
5)      What goes up & down a hill, but never moves?  - ROAD
6)      You can never wet it? -   SHADOW
7)      What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do? - YOUR NAME

[4]     In a period of a day or 24 hours an average human:

1)      HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2)      LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3)      BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4)      NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5)      HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6)      Take 2.9 pounds WATER (Including other liquids)
7)      Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8)      Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9)      Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10)     Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11)     Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12)     During SLEEP move 25.4 times