Chanakya's Quotes....

Chanakya's Quotes - Worth reading a million times…

  
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"A person should not be too honest. 
Straight trees are cut first 
and Honest people are victimised first." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC 75 BC)   
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"Even if a snake is not poisonous, 
it should pretend to be venomous." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)   
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"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. ! It will destroy you." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)   
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"There is some self-interest behind every friendship.
There is no Friendship without self-interests.
This is a bitter truth." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)   
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"Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply
and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)   
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"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)   
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"Once you start a working on something, 
don't be afraid of failure and
don't abandon it. 
People who work sincerely are the happiest." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)   
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"The fragrance of flowers spreads 
only in the direction of the wind.
But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)   
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"A man is great by deeds, not by birth." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)   
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"Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. 
For the next five years, scold them.
By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. 
Your grown up children are your best friends." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)   
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"Books are as useful to a stupid person 
as a mirror is useful to a blind person." 
Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)   
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"Education is the best friend. 
An educated person is respected everywhere.
Education beats the beauty and the youth." 
Chanakya quotes  (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC)

some jokes..

Wife: Why are you home so early?
 Husband: My boss told me to go to hell.
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 "Honey, when we get married, I'll be there to share all your troubles
 and sorrows.";
 "But I don't have any, my love."
 "I said, when we get married" 
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 American: In our country, marriage even takes place with email.
 Santa: In India, it is only with female 
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 When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God
 doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness
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 On the first day of marriage, the husband is treated like god... after
 that the letters reversed ( dog )
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The 3 fastest means of communication:
  Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
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 A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "I've found
 a woman just like mother!"
 His father replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?";

 

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Q - What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.

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How can SantaSingh Kill a Lion?
SantaSingh thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. JJJ

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A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married;
Guess what they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.

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Wife: Honey...... What are you looking for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour...??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.

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SantaSingh: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..?
biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Accident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

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SantaSingh : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying....
When a Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

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Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

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Man before Marriage I like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan"
After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where eveR U Go Our Network Follows."

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SantaSingh : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.
SantaSingh : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!

Message.. (No offences plz)

A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.  She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.  She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.  As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face  with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied. 
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. 
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her
fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. 
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say. 
"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room!"

Gifts that Don't Cost a Cent

1. THE GIFT OF LISTENING: But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.

2. THE GIFT OF AFFECTION: Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

3. THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you".

4. THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE: It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.

5. THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT; A simple and sincere, "You look great in red", "You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

6. THE GIFT OF A FAVOR: Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

7. THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE: There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

8.THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION: The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.

Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!!!

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.
On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.
The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few   bananas.
Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food   bag of bananas was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, 'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?'
The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but .. did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!
Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!!!  

Don't do this after your meal

7 dont's after a meal

*     Don't smoke- Experiment from experts proves that smoking a
cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of
  cancer is higher).

 *    Don't eat fruits immediately - Immediately eating fruits after
meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Therefore take fruit
1-2 hr after meal or 1hr before meal.

 *   Don't drink tea - Because tea leaves contain a high content of
acid. This substance will cause the Protein content in the food we
consume to be hardened thus difficult to digest.

  *     Don't loosen your belt - Loosening the belt after a meal will
easily cause the intestine to be twisted & blocked.

 *    Don't bathe - Bathing will cause the increase of blood flow to
the hands, legs & body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will
therefore decrease.  This will weaken the digestive system in our
stomach.

 *    Don't walk about - People always say that after a meal walk a
hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not
true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb
the nutrition from the food we intake.

 *    Don't sleep immediately - The food we intake will not be able to
digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric & infection in our
intestine.

crazy woman....oops....bechara man

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site. After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.

Women!!
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure.


People from the neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was.

The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.

Junior said "The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present. Please Try Again Later"... 

Clever stuff

This has got to be one of the cleverest Emails I've received in a while. Someone out there either has too much Spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one!)

 

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

 

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

 

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

 

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

 

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

 

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
When you rearrange the letters
(With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands!