We may need our enemy's help..

A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home. The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened.
He kept increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept coming home before him. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.
An hour later.... The man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife. Frustrated the man said," Put that damn cat on the phone, I am lost and I need directions to reach home!!!

Moral:
How much ever we dislike somebody, someday we will need their assistance. So never worry how many people dislike you...

STOP & THINK

STOP & THINK

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour or spread gossip.
In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.
One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.
"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."
"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"
The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

Basic First Aid Tips

Basic First Aid Tips

When someone is injured or suddenly becomes ill, there is usually a critical period before you can get medical treatment and it is this period that is of the utmost importance to the victim. Here are a few basic first aid tips.

• Make sure your household has a first aid kit. It should have basic medicines which are readily accessible
• Keep your first aid kit, all medications, including non-prescription drugs out of children's reach.
• Before assisting a victim, protect yourself first. Assess the scene and determine the prevalent hazards, if any.
• Whenever possible, wear gloves to protect yourself from blood and other bodily fluids.
• When an emergency occurs, make sure the tongue does not block the victim's airway and that the mouth is free of any secretions and foreign objects.
• It's important that the person is breathing freely. And if not, administer artificial respiration promptly.
• See that the victim has a pulse and good blood circulation as you check for signs of bleeding.
• Act fast if the victim is bleeding severely, swallowed poison or his heart or breathing has stopped. Remember every second counts.
• It's vitally important not to move a person with serious neck or back injuries unless you have to save him from further danger.
• If he has vomited and there is no danger that his neck is broken, turn him aside to prevent choking and keep him warm by covering him with blankets or coats.
• Have someone call for medical assistance while you apply first aid.
• The person who calls the doctor should explain the nature of the emergency and ask for advice on what should be done by the time the ambulance arrives.
• Be calm and give psychological support to the patient.
• Don't give fluids to an unconscious or semiconscious person. Fluids may enter his windpipe and cause suffocation.
• Don't try to arouse an unconscious person by slapping or shaking.
• Look for an emergency medical identification card to find out if the victim is allergic to medicines or has any serious health problems that require special care.

Change Underwear

There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad.



The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally.

The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"


The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear." He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schultz. Now GET TO IT!"


THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS: Someone may come along and promise "Change", but don't count on things smelling any better.

Feedback for HR Head of Top IT Companies in India

How to Kill a Lion………………..

Infosys Method:

1. Hire a lion

2. Send him for training in Mysore and make him feel like the KING OF THE JUNGLE.

3. Make him take a ‘Generic Compree Exam’………… LION TURNS INTO CAT

4. Make him take a ‘Stream Compree Exam’………….CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE

5. Send him into production which has nothing to do with what he was trained for.

6. MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!

7. Send him mails telling about mandatory certifications.

8. MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE.

TCS method:

1. Hire a lion

2. Give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary

3. Lion dies of hunger and frustration

IBM method:

1. Hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour …

2. He dies of unemployment…

Wipro Method:

1. Hire a Lion

2. Give him a mail Id.

3. He will die receiving stupid mails all day……..!!!!

Cognizant Method:

1. Hire a lion… ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.

2. Give him Gobi 65 to eat again and again.

3. Hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit

4. Give them same Gobi 65 to eat

5. Hire 200 more……. and more …….

Accenture Method:

1. Hire a lion….

2. Send him to Chennai, India

3. Ask him to stay on bench for a long time

4. Ask him to eat idli, Dosa and Vada

5. No Hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking people other than TAMIL…

6. No good food, No water..

7. And say him “Go Ahead be a Tiger”.

8. Lion dies in confusion... he is Tiger or lion……

HCL Method:

1. Hire few lions….

2. Make them to wait for more than one year for joining.

3. Send lions from NCR to Chennai and lions from Chennai to NCR.

4. Train the lions on Java/Dot net and ask them to join testing team.

5. Give lectures on “Lions First” and ask them buy books on “Lions First”.

6. Relocate the lions from one Zoo to another Zoo and tell them you are to going a better Jungle.

7. Send old lions to African Jungles (read – onsite) and never rotate them to Indian Zoo.

8. Old lions at Africa becomes king of the jungle.

9. Indian zoo lions becomes frustrated waiting for onsite and eventually joins any of the above jungles (TCS, IBM, Accenture etc)

10. Lion dies according to reasons appropriate for above mentioned jungles (TCS, IBM, Accenture etc)