WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……

WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO MUCH……
FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK : ( and you would find out the same .. !!!! )
1 ) Tech Support : “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer : “Ok.”
Tech Support : “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer : “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
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2) Customer : “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”
Tech Support : “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

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3) Customer : “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support : “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer : “I typed ‘A: SETUP’.”
Tech Support : “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer : “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support : “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer : “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”

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4) Customer : “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

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5) Tech Support : “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer : “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
Tech support : ##### ***

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6) Tech Support : “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer : “A white one.”
Tech support : ******_____####

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7) Tech Support : “What operating system are you running?”
Customer : “Pentium.”

Tech support : ////—–+++
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8) Customer : “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”
Tech support : ??????

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9) Customer : “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
Tech Support : ?!%#$
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10) Customer : “How do I print my voicemail?”
Tech support : ??????

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11) Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support : “What does it say?”

Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”

Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”

Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

Tech support : @@@@@
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12) Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”

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13) Tech Support : “What does the screen say now?”

Customer : “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”

Tech Support : “Well?”

Customer : “How do I know when it’s ready?”

Tech support : *** —- ++++
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The best of the lot

14) A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What’s the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the
command.

Tech support::

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The, tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support::(hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User : It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User : I need a new power supply.

Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support : (hush hush)

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.

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Height Of it all (Too Good)

15) Customer : I need a product identification number right now

Customer Care Officer : and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust : sure !!!!

CCO : could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your, computer?

HINDI FILM SONGS & THEIR MEDICAL INTERPRETATIONS

Jiya Jale jaan jale, Raat bhar dhuan chale : FEVER

 Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi : HEART ATTACK


 Juda hoke bhi tu mujhme kanhi baaki hai: CONSTIPATION

 Bidi jalayile jigar se piya jigar ma badi aag hai: ACIDITY            


 Tujhme rab dikhta hai yaara main kya karoon : CATARACT

 Tujhe yaad na meri aayi kisi se ab kya kahna : ALZEIMERS


 Mann dole mera tann dole : VERTIGO.

 Tip tip barsa paani, paani ne aag lagayee : BURNING
 SENSATION WHILE URINATING

 Dil Dhadak Dhadak ke keh raha hai..... HIGH BP

 Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen per nahin padte mere........CORN
 ON FEET

 Haay re haay Neend nahin aaye....... INSOMNIA

   Zindagi zindagi kya kami rah hai
HIGH CHOLESTRAL and HIGH SUGAR

Mein shayar tho nahi jab se dekha tujko mujko ... Pschezoprenia...

Phir bhi man pyasa....
Dehydration

business style

Indian way of doing Sales....... ......... ....Business !!!

 

 

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C. One from U.S., another fromIndia and the third, from China.

They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The U.S. contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring.

Then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)".

The Chinese contractor also does some measuring and figuring,

then says, "I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 profit for me)".

The Indian contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Indian contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from China to fix the fence."

Prayers in emergency (on a lighter note)

In case of an emergency, speak only in English and forget about saying prayers in any other language...

U never know what kind of translation problem u can run into... :)

             

An Indian in the US suffered a heart attack on the road and was picked up by an ambulance. 

Being religious, he kept repeating - Hari Om Hari Om Hari Om.

When the ambulance pulled into his home, his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics: 'Why didn't you take him straight to the hospital?' 

They replied 'Because he kept saying Hurry home Hurry home Hurry home!'

Arrested for laughing

This is from an actual trial in the UK : A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.

When She Noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on Account of her condition.

She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.

She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing...................She had him arrested.

Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner.

His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant..

She sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.

I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.'

The case was dismissed.........! !!!!!!!