Newton's laws of infatuation:

Newton's laws of infatuation:


love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can transfer from
one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.



first law:


a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, untill on unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy.



second law:


the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the
direction of this love is same to as increament or decreament of the
bank balance.



3rd law:


the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite
to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.

Girls beware

ALL GIRLS WILL HATE THIS

1) What is the difference between women and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

2) Why do women always have a stupid look on their faces?
Answer: Because they are...

3) What do women have in common with ceramic tiles?
Answer: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

4) If you drop a women and a brick out of a plane,which one would hit the ground first?
Answer: Who cares?????.....

5) What did God say after he created woman?
(This ones THE BEST)
Answer: I can do better than this! And then he created man

6) What's the difference between an intelligent woman & a UFO ?
Answer:I don't know, I've never seen either.

7) What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business?
Answers: i) no mind ii) no business

8) What makes women chase men when they have no intention of marrying?
Answer: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles when they have no intention of driving (The Best in the lot)

Cool Ones............

Want to propose a girl - Just do it. (Nike)

Before going to propose to a girl - Believe in the best. (BPL)

If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl - Vicks ki goli lo kichkich door karo. (Vicks)

If you are going to propose to a girl, chances are>-50-50. (Britannia)

If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her - Take it easy. (Limca)

Those who succeed in love always say - We dream because we do. (Daewoo)

If some one wants to write a love letter to his girlfriend -likho script apna apna. (Rotomac)

If you love someone - Go get it. (visa power)

Boy riding a bike with neighbor's girl - Neighbors envy owner's pride.(Onida)

Not satisfied with your dates - Yeh dil mangey more.(Pepsi)

A guy having a number of girl friends - Complete Man. (Raymonds)

A smart girl having a number of boyfriends - yeh hai hamara suraksachakra.(Colgate)

For those lost in love - Har shaam ka sathi main aur mera (Bagpiper).

If God ..................... Tooo Good

Imagine if GODS also got hired in the software industry.
These are what their roles would be!



Brahma
Systems Installation

Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support

Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant

Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management

Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)

Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation

Narada
Data transfer

Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant

Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records

Apsaras (Perfect Role ) :-)
Downloadable Viruses

Devas
Mainframe Programmers

Surya
Solaris Administrator

Rakshasas
In house Hackers

Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF

Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process

Lakshman
Support Software and Backup

Hanuman
Linux/s390

Vaali
MS Windows

Sugreeva
DOS

Jatayu

Humour

How crazy software engineers gradually become

A Non-Software guy thinks there are 1000 bytes in a kilobyte.
A Software-guy is convinced that there are 1024 meters in a
kilometer.


Non-Software guy : Hey.. I've just become a member of Rotract Club.
Software-guy : public, private, friendly or protected ?


Non-Software guy : Hey.. My submarine isn't sinking in water!!
What could be wrong?
Software-guy : may be you have used float instead of double in the software.


Non-Software guy : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer...
PM : how do you say that?
Non-Software guy : he asked my physical address instead of my home address!


Non-Software guy : Hey Bill, Can you do me a favor? Plz pass on
these 10,000 dollars to John..?
Software-guy : Ohh.. Sure.. Why not? Should i pass by value or by reference?